Betrayal changes the story. You can heal together—but it requires new agreements and real accountability.
What “betrayal” can look like
- Infidelity (emotional or physical)
- Hidden debts or addictions
- Chronic broken promises
First steps
- Stabilize: Sleep, food, support network.
- Truth: Full timeline, no trickle truth.
- Boundaries: Transparency agreements, therapy, space if needed.
Repair vs. reconciliation
Forgiveness is internal healing; reconciliation is rebuilding the relationship. You can do one without the other.
Rebuild plan
- Weekly check-ins with concrete progress.
- Access agreements (devices, schedules) for a limited time.
- Couples therapy + individual work.
Signals it’s time to let go
- Continued dishonesty or minimization.
- Refusal to meet basic repair conditions.
- Ongoing emotional harm.
Scripts
- “I’m open to rebuilding, and I’ll need [specific action] for [timeframe].”
- “I’m choosing to end this. I wish us both healing and will keep distance while I recover.”
- “I need the full story once, not in pieces. Can you commit to that?”