Texting isn’t the relationship—it’s the bridge. Used well, it builds warmth and momentum; used poorly, it fuels anxiety. These rules cover cadence, tone, and when to call—plus practical scripts for mixed signals and delayed replies.
Cadence beats volume
Agree on a ballpark rhythm (e.g., a quick morning check-in and an evening wrap-up). Consistency > constant contact.
When to switch to voice or face
- If it’s emotional or complex, call or meet. Don’t litigate feelings via paragraph wars.
- Use a “ping + plan”: “This matters—can we talk at 7?”
Green flags
- States availability (“In meetings 2–5, will reply after”).
- Clarifies tone with small context (“teasing!”).
- Initiates as well as responds.
Boundaries that reduce anxiety
- 12-hour clarity rule: If you can’t reply same day, send a quick placeholder with when you can.
- “No decoding” pact: If something feels off, ask plainly instead of mind-reading.
- Overnight truce: Pause hot topics after 10pm; sleep helps.
Clarity creates safety; playfulness creates spark. You want both.
Scripts
Copy-ready lines for common texting moments.
Mixed signals
- “Hey, I enjoy our chats. Are you looking to meet up soon?”
- “I’d like to see if this goes somewhere—are you interested in the same?”
- “I’m getting a mixed vibe—want to keep this casual or explore more?”
Delayed reply
- “Not urgent—just wanted to confirm you saw my last message.”
- “Hey, I know you’re busy. No rush—just checking in when you have a moment.”
- “All good on my end—reply whenever you can.”
Boundary + warmth
- “Jumping into focus mode—will text you tonight.”
- “I’m heading offline for the evening. Looking forward to catching up tomorrow.”
- “On a call block 2–5. If you need me, I’ll check at 5:15.”
Green-flag examples
- “Morning! Hope your meeting goes well—I’ll check in later.”
- “Thinking of you—how’s your day going?”
- “That made me smile 😊 thanks for sharing.”