Love languages are useful—but incomplete. Here’s a modern refresh that includes digital life, growth, and play.
The classic five
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Gifts
- Physical touch
Three modern additions
- Shared growth: Reading a book together, gym plans, courses.
- Digital presence: Timely texts, thoughtful memes, quick check-ins.
- Humor & play: Inside jokes, playful teasing, adventures.
Translate, don’t convert
Instead of forcing your language, translate your love into theirs: “I planned a quiet evening (quality time) but added your favorite snack (gifts).”
Finding your blend
Most people have 2–3 dominant languages. Notice which acts land deeply and which you keep offering by habit.
Scripts
- “My top language is quality time. What gestures make you feel most loved?”
- “I’m experimenting with better check-ins—how does this cadence feel?”
- “I love when you share your wins. Let’s make that our ritual.”